By Ada Bravo
Legally:
Structuring the legal guardianship for children who have polygamous parents is very complicated. The only reason for that is because it is difficult to get a judge to approve of multiple guardianships for a poly relationship. In some relationships, the partners might want all of them to have equal guardianship, while others might only want biological parents to have parental rights. In the case that the partners want to include a guardian that is not a biological parent, it gets hard. There can be more than two guardians, however, that depends on what is going on. Judges will rule in favor of the decision that they believe will be better for the children involved. Most of the time when judges are making decisions, they let their cultural and religious beliefs get in the way. Those beliefs often conclude that monogamy is the healthiest family structure for children, leading them to deny multiple guardianships. Although it is possible to do, you’ll have better luck with a judge that is more progressive. In Megan’s lecture about reproduction, we learned about the stigma that comes from certain groups that have babies. This would definitely be a group that would have a stigma around the decision to have children. Some of the other conflicts that the court sees with this is the financial, medical and social outcomes that will have to occur if there is a separation between the partners. (Sheff 2017)
Socially:
I want to begin by saying that every relationship is going to be different depending on who is contributing to it. However, I will be giving some information on the various ways that people in polyamorous relationships add children into their family. Some partners who have children feel that it is best to end secondary relationships because there is no more time for them, but that is not always the case. When people do decide that they want to stay in a poly relationship after having children , there are many ways that they can go about it. If it is something that is being planned, they can decide who the maternal and paternal parents will be. Communication is very important, especially when deciding to have children. Megan and Paul explained that especially in a polyamorous relationship, communication is absolutely necessary. It is vital tool in their relationship. Some people don’t always feel comfortable with adding children into the family. A conflict that can occur is when the primary or secondary partner is pregnant, the other partner can feel like they are being left out. They might feel like the biological parents are sharing something special that they won’t be able to connect with. They can also start to feel like their partner has no time for them anymore, which can cause separation. Some ways that can help to avoid this is if the non-biological parents help play a part in contributing to the child’s upbringing. For example, going to doctors appointments, babysitting, helping around the house, etc. (Mahler 2017)
Living the Lifestyle:
A man named Benedict Smith talks about his story growing up in a house with parents who were in an open relationship. He does not think that growing up with multiple parental figures affected him in anyway negatively. He enjoyed being surrounded by a lot of people who loved him and also enjoyed the different advice he received from them growing up. He states that if anything, he wished that there would have been a little more kick to like most people assume that there is. One thing that he did face was a lot of judgment from his peers. He was scared for kids at school to find out that his parents had multiple partners. Also, parents from his church group stopped letting their kids hang out with him once they learned about his parents open relationship. (Benedict 2015) What affected him the most was the judgment, not at all being a part of a poly family.
Breaking Relationship Norms 